Why I don’t give free hugs…

Standard

Provocative title, yes, but can I ask a Question? I just did. I will exploit this form of media and ask another.

Are hugs ever actually Free?

My answer to this question is NO.

Yes, I even used capitals.

Hugs are, by definition and expression, a warm and intimate way of connecting with another person or pet. They require for usually two or more but at least one of the participants to be close to another being. Close can be good. Close may be comforting. Close is also vulnerable.

It costs to be close to someone. It usually costs me my pride and my personal space. I spend these things each time I hug someone. Is it good for me? Probably. Does it sometimes hurt to connect with people on this level? Yes, and sometimes past hurts make it hurt more.

So hugs aren’t free for me, but if I give you one, cherish it because I probably think you are pretty ok.

Advertisements

Why children are afraid of the dark…

Standard

I am a bit scared.

Honestly, the darkness outside is a scary thing. It inspires a sort of lonely, cold, forsaken, forgotten type of feeling. Like fluorescent lights in industrial estates inspire a sad nothingness, a lack of warmth. Let’s be clear, they might be ok places to work, but I shouldn’t much like living there.

So lately I have been having dreams, really bad ones. Nightmares about lost family members, serial killers, and nasty people. It is, in my opinion, that being scared is perfectly rational. Children are braver than we give them credit for being if this is what they face when they close their eyes. Sleep is vulnerable. The haunting of the darkness without – in the world, other people’s thoughts and minds etc., is matched in the ability to terrorize only by the darkness within.

We all have it, that attic or dingy closet in the back of our minds where we hide old pains, sorrows, fears, regrets, and shames. But perhaps nightmares are made of more than just this store.

I am not quite sure.

This is me signing out and hopefully, God willing, going to sleep for the ‘sleep without dreams’ that Lord Roop gets on the Star’s Island in Voyage of the Dawn Treader. (C. S. Lewis)

In the beginning… (story to follow).

Standard

In the beginning… (story to follow).

I am writing this post for two reasons.

1. I made a mistake and accidentally posted the same thing twice.

2. Why not?

3. There is a storm involving noises outside.

I can count, ‘I went to kindergarten‘ in the words of Gru.

So once upon a time there lived an old woman. Her name was… well that is unimportant. She had a friend whose name, we’ll you get the picture. Anyway, she took the same route every day to visit this friend.

She went 300 m straight up the hill then turned left and went 300m straight down.

Although this route made her quite fit, she was slowing down a bit at the age of 90.

Her friend’s son, then a boy but later a wondrous mathematician, suggested that she show him her route.

She walked the same route and he followed.

He asked one question at the end of the week: Why could she not cut across the field between their houses?

So they tried this for a week.

It was so successful that the old women raved about this young man’s keen intellect to professor friends. They decided this new route needed a name, he suggested the following:

High potential usage walkway. Some say the man he spoke to was partially deaf, others that he was a bit of a wordsmith and liked to coin terms and only pretended deafness. Still, we now have hypotenuse.

 

Disclaimer: This work is entirely fictitious.  Any relation to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

 

On Being Single and Fabulous…

Standard

‘So, you’re single…’

How many times have I seen conversation change when that realization hits the person on other side? Possibly too many.

Am I still human and not deformed in any way? Yes. So, I chose This?  Yes, in a sense.

I choose to celebrate my singleness.

The darker side

I know some people expect loneliness to be top of the list when I bring up the dark side to singleness. Not this time. One can be lonely even in relationships. The reason for this is, in my opinion, that we weren’t created to be satisfied only with one very close or a handful of close relationships. God made us- yes I went there- and He made us to seek more (No one less than His Fabulous Self) and to seek good for others. So for me, the dark side is realizing how easily selfishness in everything really does come to me. It could be said that I am quite proficient at this.

I am a work in progress and I like things my way. I live alone and don’t have anyone to clean up after (except the fish, but that is another story) or to make me clean up. Do I get lonely sometimes? Yes. Do I get cabin fever? Oh dear me yes. Long weekends are the worst and best things that happen to the business world. But they are no fun at all if nothing social is happening.

I am not in a relationship for a few reasons: 

1. I don’t want it to be for me, about me, and only on my terms.

2. I have reasonable and high standards – heck someone died to save me once and I don’t want to ignore that.

3. I have been learning and growing and enjoying being alone.

I also love children, this inspires people to comment about my marital status (or, unfortunately lack of, in the eyes of some). I have a new baby sister and love the excuse to read children’s books (seriously, how good is Peppa Pig!) with her. I melt when she smiles. I don’t think I am ‘clucky’. For goodness sake, I AM NOT A CHICKEN.

 I am single and I am fabulous, thank-you very much. 🙂

Why I said goodbye to my TV.

Standard

I recently said goodbye to owning what is arguably one of the most used pieces of technology in most homes in western society. This multi-channeled,  multi-faceted box of promised false-reality and one-sided socialisation -Known As The TV- had out-stayed its welcome in my living room and here are three reasons why.

Firstly, I have a library of books. Need I say more? In the last four weeks I have read more than in the preceeding 2 years. Having been an avid reader for much of my life, it was an easy decision to swap one type of recreation for the other. Besides which, I can write. I also own a library card.

Secondly, my imagination was being stifled. This had two negative consequences.

1. Really bizarre dreams.

2. Something as close to boredom as I have gotten in a long while with a weird dependence on others and TV to entertain me. I was becoming a narcissist.

Thirdly, I was getting a shiny and unhelpful view of the world and my place in it. Consumerism, distorted sexuality, greed, malice, strife, violence – these were the things I was feeding into my brain, mind, heart, and soul. Not all TV is bad, but all the bad had a way of sticking. So I ditched the addiction and took my mind for a walk.

This also coincided with me ditching and deleting my Facebook profile.

So farvel to semi-intrusive, semi-authentic social connections of ease and convenience. That was my poison, not what I think is the case for everyone.‘For there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.'(Hamlet, Prince of Denmark).

And so adieu.